So... I guess I should be talking bout the game, but I'm not...

I just am finding out some of the truth... and... I'm ashamed... I was like some bad wife... nagging the one I love, and soughta internet stalking them (though technically I found all the pages via them)... their blogspot was thanks to their MSN, their AP was because I met them there, their DA was on their AP page, they SodaHead was e-mailed to me, there is another one I got from AP too... plus... their YouTube, they commented on a video of mine...

I have messaged them too much though... at points... I knew it... but... I felt... ... ... y'know abandoned when we couldn't talk... we are half the world away... and I felt bad enough not being able to hug or kiss them... And just melt to their every desire...

I love them, and they to me are more then perfect, they made my dream person look like shit... Now I just want to be back with them...

By the way, I fucked off the cigarettes... I feel calmer and don't want to go kill people anymore, so they are just useless... I only was smoking as a way to harm something a little without killing it completely...

Good thing too... cause they made me feel ill... not dangerously ill... but not nice...

Anyway, in all honesty, I just am hoping the guy I love will tell me MAYBE I can have a chance... I dunno... I guess... it's just going to be a "let's see what happens" thing for me... I feel bad because I did heaps of things wrong... paranoia, almost stalker like at points (actually... I was more seeing if they'd been online... mainly cause then I might be able to call and chat to them... I miss them... they appear to be upset at what I've done... so I'll make it right... plus extra... if I can...

Peace out y'all... lol...

Neo Omega Dark